Is there Love at First Sight?
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Nope
What there is, is: attraction at first sight, infatuation at first sight, lust at first sight, captivation at first sight, enthrallment at first sight, enchantment at first sight, allurement at first sight...
So, what is happening, when you see a guy and suddenly think you have found the perfect man for you?
You see a guy, he looks your way, your eyes meet, you immediately think you have found your soul mate, and you become obsessed, fixated, overpowered with desire.
It all goes back to your "love map."
A "love map" is an image of that ideal partner you have formed in your brain.
Many women, when finding a man who seems to fit this imaginary image in their brains, become convinced they have found their soul mate... the perfect man for them, the man of their dreams. They immediately, (or very shortly thereafter), feel they are desperately in love.
It may absolutely feel like love but it is more a chemical dynamic that involves a very powerful attraction... exploding into infatuation.
Let me explain a little more....
Very early on in your life, your brain began forming a picture of a mate. In childhood the connections in your brain started deciding, and figuring out, what was attractive, what was important, and what sorts of people were essential for your survival. Of course this is not conscious or clearly decided, nevertheless, connections began as a result of your experiences.
As time went by, your subconscious brain formed pictures based on your specific care taking adults, your culture, and your experiences, creating a host of qualities and characteristics that became important to you.
During adolescence, many of the pictures in the subconscious brain become bright and powerful images as girls search for that someone who they instinctively feel must be in their lives.
When you find a man who fits your "love map" a phenomenon happens that is often extraordinarily powerful. Some people consider this attraction magnetic because of its incredible power to energize and nearly take over one's life.
Is it love? No. It is a connection that has evolved in humans to get them to mate. And it works quite well don't you think?
While this strong and overwhelming attraction can be enormously pleasurable, drug like for sure, it can also be emotionally dangerous.
When I hear a woman tell me she has met a guy and is completely in love, even though they have never interacted, dated, or perhaps the man has never shown any romantic interest, it is clear the woman has found a man who matches her, "love map."
The problems arise when her brain and body become flooded with these powerful chemicals telling her a guy is the one for her, when the guy is not at all interested.
Real intimate, romantic, honest, and mature love requires knowing the person one "loves".
Real intimate love is more than the flood of chemicals that tell us another is attractive. In other words, it is more than infatuation and desire.
If you find yourself feeling you are in love with a man you hardly know, or who is not interested in you, step back for a time, remove yourself from the situation, release those thoughts telling you, you have found your dream man. Realize what is going on in your brain. Allow yourself to let go of your obsession. Immerse yourself in positive activities. Distract yourself with healthy and healing events.
Whatever you do, do not allow yourself to go down the painful road of thinking you have found your soul mate and he doesn't want you.
No... you have found a man that fits your mental image of a great guy, but he is not the one for you. There is someone else who fits that picture who will find YOU fitting theirs!
What there is, is: attraction at first sight, infatuation at first sight, lust at first sight, captivation at first sight, enthrallment at first sight, enchantment at first sight, allurement at first sight...
But love at first sight? Nope
So, what is happening, when you see a guy and suddenly think you have found the perfect man for you?
You see a guy, he looks your way, your eyes meet, you immediately think you have found your soul mate, and you become obsessed, fixated, overpowered with desire.
It all goes back to your "love map."
Many women, when finding a man who seems to fit this imaginary image in their brains, become convinced they have found their soul mate... the perfect man for them, the man of their dreams. They immediately, (or very shortly thereafter), feel they are desperately in love.
It may absolutely feel like love but it is more a chemical dynamic that involves a very powerful attraction... exploding into infatuation.
Let me explain a little more....
Very early on in your life, your brain began forming a picture of a mate. In childhood the connections in your brain started deciding, and figuring out, what was attractive, what was important, and what sorts of people were essential for your survival. Of course this is not conscious or clearly decided, nevertheless, connections began as a result of your experiences.
As time went by, your subconscious brain formed pictures based on your specific care taking adults, your culture, and your experiences, creating a host of qualities and characteristics that became important to you.
During adolescence, many of the pictures in the subconscious brain become bright and powerful images as girls search for that someone who they instinctively feel must be in their lives.
When you find a man who fits your "love map" a phenomenon happens that is often extraordinarily powerful. Some people consider this attraction magnetic because of its incredible power to energize and nearly take over one's life.
While this strong and overwhelming attraction can be enormously pleasurable, drug like for sure, it can also be emotionally dangerous.
When I hear a woman tell me she has met a guy and is completely in love, even though they have never interacted, dated, or perhaps the man has never shown any romantic interest, it is clear the woman has found a man who matches her, "love map."
The problems arise when her brain and body become flooded with these powerful chemicals telling her a guy is the one for her, when the guy is not at all interested.
Real intimate, romantic, honest, and mature love requires knowing the person one "loves".
Real intimate love is more than the flood of chemicals that tell us another is attractive. In other words, it is more than infatuation and desire.
If you find yourself feeling you are in love with a man you hardly know, or who is not interested in you, step back for a time, remove yourself from the situation, release those thoughts telling you, you have found your dream man. Realize what is going on in your brain. Allow yourself to let go of your obsession. Immerse yourself in positive activities. Distract yourself with healthy and healing events.
Whatever you do, do not allow yourself to go down the painful road of thinking you have found your soul mate and he doesn't want you.
No... you have found a man that fits your mental image of a great guy, but he is not the one for you. There is someone else who fits that picture who will find YOU fitting theirs!
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