Why I Am Not a Fan of Casual Sex, or Why You Should Stop Sleeping Around

This post is not about morality, religion, or judgments. It is about reality and practicality and women getting hurt.

This post is to address the many, many emails I get from women who sleep with a guy thinking they are going to have a relationship only to find they get pregnant, an incurable disease or are left brokenhearted. If you do not fall into this catagory then this post is not for you!
OK, with that out of the way let me tell you why I am not a fan of casual sex and why you should stop sleeping with every guy who looks your way or tells you you are wonderful.

First, it is dangerous. You know this. You hear it all the time. Safe sex is taught in schools and this message is nothing new, still, we know millions of girls and women are not getting the message.

These days, unsafe sex with a stranger is not about a 15 minute moment of pleasure it is about all the consequences that go along with it. Too many girls and woman are still getting incurable STDs. Too many girls and women are still getting pregnant without intent. Too many girls are getting stuck with all the ramifications that go along with having sex with a guy (or guys) who are not honest, who do not care about them, and are completely unconcerned about any STD they pass on.

I'm asking for every woman who reads this to take a vow that she will not have sex unless she is 100% sure is safe. (This means knowing, not trusting a stranger but truly knowing his sexual history, and being completely sure it is safe to engage in sex; it means making sure you will not get pregnant).

Right now... promise yourself. Do it out loud or let me know in a comment, just do it. No unsafe sex... EVER!
Secondly, you need to protect your heart. One of the most common scenarios I hear from women is this: She meets a man and falls head over heals in love with him, they have a beautiful night of sex then he never calls again. She is devastate and broken hearted. You know this story right? (Again, if this is not you disregard this post).

See, women need to know that while they may want a relationship and think they are beginning one, these guys who just leave them are wanting sex. Two very different things. Let me repeat this. Wanting a relationship and wanting sex may be two different things. Of course they can be interrelated but they may not. If you are continually getting hurt, it may be that you are connecting the two, when they are separate things.

What happens is this, when some women have sex, all sorts of bonding chemicals flood her brain and she becomes "attached" to the guy. Now, this is a good thing for committed couples but for a woman with a man who is not interested in her, not so good. Why? Because some some guys are not feeling the same thing. They are not having any sort of attachment chemicals fill their brains, do not want a relationship, and do not care one bit if they never see you again.

But, these types of guys can walk away and never look back, while the woman is left devastated.*

(Of course there are women who do not care about the guy they are sleeping with and of course there are men who do care about women they just want for a one night encounter but we are talking about a specific scenario).

Too many women engage in sex thinking they are going to have a great new relationship and the guy will be happy with them for giving them a nice sexual experience, but are left with a broken heart, a serious STD, and an unwanted pregancy.

OK, did you promise yourself you will never have unsafe sex?

Do it!

*I'm not in any way suggesting all men fall into this catagory, I am specifically referring to those men who use women and are not interested in a relationship.