To All Presidents, Senators, Congressmen, and basically All Politicians....

Is it too much to ask that the men and women running our country have at least a modicum of integrity?

Is it too much to ask that our leaders don't steal, cheat, drive drunk, proposition young interns, engage in child porn, and/or sleep with prostitutes?

Is it too much to ask that the politicians running the country have a basic sense of decency?

Is this really asking too much?

We continually hear government leaders talk about going to church, believing in God, reading scripture, and praying for our country, yet for many, when it comes to their own sense of morality there seems to be a void... a big one.*

What is up with this?

Many normal every day people can get through the day without lying, having affairs, receiving sexual treats from young interns, getting DUIs, or betraying their spouses.

Why can't we expect similarly decent behavior from our leaders?

I mean seriously.

Shouldn't we expect the leaders of our country to be decent, law abiding people?

I'm not asking for Saints or mistake free humans; just men (and women) with a basic sense of integrity.

Now, of course we are all human, we make mistakes, (I'm reminded of the quote, "absolute power corrupts men absolutely," Maybe it is true).

I'm not sure why so many of our Country's politicians are corrupt and I really do not care. What I do care about is decency, honesty, and integrity.

Of course not every single politician is a disgusting, law breaking, conniving, manipulating cheat. I'm sure there are some great people in leadership positions. But it seems harder and harder to identify them.

So, here is the tip of the day... again.

Politicians who continually cheat, lie, have affairs, break laws, drive while drunk, embezzle, sell influence and power are NOT great men. They may on occasion help with one thing or another but they are not great men.

OK, now, big kudos to those men (and women, but this post is about not so good men), in government positions who are honest and law abiding citizens. A shout out to those men who are above bribes, lies, visiting prostitutes, and betraying their wives.




Note: Obviously there are women leaders and politicians, this goes without saying. However, this post is directed toward the not so great men, hence I'm speaking to them.

*I'm not pointing out the need for church attendance or belief in a particular God only that there is a disconnect between men who claim to believe in decency and morality yet live a life seeming void of any sense of integrity or honesty.

How to Tell if a Guy is a Sex Offender

Previously, I have posted thoughts on why dating a sex offender is not a good idea. It seems like this bit of advice is a matter of common sense but some women don't care if a guy has molested children or raped women.

Let me be clear... a guy is not a good prospect for a healthy relationship if he is a pedophile or if he (sexually or otherwise), abuses women.

There is no getting around this.

This is not a little piece of advice to discard.

Molesting children and raping women is not in the same category as a guy who forgets an anniversary or doesn't do his share of the dishes.

Forgiving him is not going to heal him.

Pretending he is a great man is not going to turn him into one.

Ignoring sexual perversion and anger is not going to eliminate the cruelty and disgusting behavior.

If you are one of those women who dismisses this extremely serious problem in a man you might ask yourself why? Are you so desperate for a man in your life that you will take the really disturbed guys who should not be a part of normal human society?

You may say you see the good in him. I don't buy it. While of course everyone has some good in them, the cruel disgusting behavior toward women and children can't be ignored and completely eliminates the possibility for even a remote chance of a healthy happy relationship.

How do you know if a guy is a sex offender?

Of course most sex offenders are not going to come out and tell you of their perversions and sickness but there are signs and red flags. And, in the course of an early relationship you have the opportunity to get to know the man. Take it. Don't assume a guy is wonderful until you find out otherwise. Find out about the guy before you get into a relationship.

First, check out the National Sex Offender
Registry! You can search by name or location! While this is only a beginning and not all sex offenders are registered it is a good start.

Secondly, you can be on the alert for clues.

Briefly, child predators typically are afraid of adult intimacy and may have some sexual dysfunction with women, enjoy time with children (prepubescent boys and girls) more than adults, may date women with children of his desired aged victims, have low self esteem, have a desire for power, have been abused as a child, don't take responsibility for their actions, and desire control over others. Some pedophiles have done jail time but most have not. They typically appear normal (above average education and frequently religious) but may spend a lot of alone time with children and are often unusually popular with children.

Rapists and sexual abusers are typically those men who want to inflict pain, dominate, control, humiliate, and degrade their victims. Rape is not about a "need" for sex but a need for domination. There are actually several different categories of sexual abusers but generally they exhibit a need for power and control. For many men sexual abuse is just one form of a more generalized attitude and behavior of violence toward women.

Has he been to jail? Does his life story check out? Who are his friends? Does he seem secretive? Are there pieces missing? Have you met his family? Does he have anger issues? Does he put women down? Ask the important questions and know the important answers.

Third, listen to your gut. I repeat this advice often because it is extremely important. More than your logical mind, your subconscious is aware of the subtle clues that something is not right. LISTEN! If you get that weird feeling in your stomach, that uneasy sense in your gut, your instincts are telling you that something is wrong. Walk away... or run.

Now, of course there is the possibility for some men to change but a few years in jail is not going to heal anyone. Not by a long shot. Unless someone has done the extraordinary work to heal and change some serious issues, had plenty of time to demonstrate he can live a normal life as a productive healthy human being, it is best to just stay away.

Listen to your gut!