For the Young Women of the World...What is Your Value?

OK... here is today's quiz:

What do the following women have in common?

Hillary Clinton (US Senator), Oprah Winfrey (President Harpo), Meg Whitman (President and CEO Ebay), Condeleezza Rice (US Secretary of State), Angela Merkel (German Chancellor), Ho Ching (CEO Temasek), Cynthia Carroll (CEO Angelo American), Anne Mulcahy (CEO Xerox), Anne Sweeny (President Disney-ABC), Sheila Bair (Chair US Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.), Leslie Stahl (American broadcast journalist), Julie Gerberding (Director Center for Disease Control), Aung San Suu Kyi (Nobel Peace Laureat, deposed Prime Minister Mayanmar), Michelle Bachelet (President Chille), Andrea Jung (CEO Avon), Susan Decker (President yahoo!), Melinda Gates (philanthropist), Brenda Barnes (CEO Sara Lee), Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the House, US House of Representatives), Nancy Tellem (President CBS Paramount), Helen Clark (New Zealand Prime Minister), Ursula Burns (President Xerox), Ellen Johnson Sirleaf (President Liberia), Tarja Halonen (President Finland), Yang Mian Mian (President Haier), Mary McAleese (President Ireland) Ruth Ginsberg (US Supreme Court Justice), Janice Fields (COO McDonalds), Katie Couric (CBS New Anchor), Drew Gilpin Faust (President Harvard), Margaret Chan (Director World Health Organization), Janet Robinson (President and CEO NY Times), Pamela Nicholson (President Enterprise Rent a Car), Anne Moore (President and CEO Time), Clara Furse (Chief Exective London Stock Exchange), Christine Amanpour (Chief International Correspondent CNN), Christine Gold (CEO Western Union), Sharon Allen (Chair Deloitte), Mary Sammons (President and CEO Rite Aid), Yulia Tymoshenko (Prime Minister Ukraine), Indra Nooyi (President and CEO Pepsico), Irene Rosenfeld (Chairman and CEO Kraft Foods), Carol Tome (CFO Home Depot).....

I could go on and on and on, but you get the picture.

What do these women have in common?

Yes, they are all powerful and accomplished women; Presidents of Countries, Presidents of Companies, Nobel Prize winners, accomplished politicians, scientists, journalists, scholars, philanthropists, doctors, leaders, innovators.

But beyond this, they have one more thing in common.

Their identity is not defined by their sexual importance to men.

Let me put this another way. These women do not base their self worth on how valuable their bodies are to men; they do not have the sense that to be validated they must please men.

These are strong women who know who they are. They do not attempt to bolster their self esteem by exploiting themselves or prostituting their bodies. They do not have an excessive need to please men or gain their attention or approval. These women do not believe their value is based on how their body is viewed by guys. They do not get their sense of power by being submissive and subservient. They do not hold to archaic ideas of their place in society as a servant or slave to men.

Nope! These women value themselves as human beings. Their power is in their essence, their spirit, their human-ness; their talents, ideas, and abilities. They have moved beyond those archaic ideas that women are somehow on the planet to please men, that their value is exclusive to their body parts, and that they are limited by ancient roles.

Being valued for who you are does not mean women must forgo their femininity, sexuality, or womanhood. It means they are more than their body, more than a form, more than an object.

In fact, it could be argued that as women embrace the totality of their essence, and live in fullness and balance their sexuality and essence becomes more complete, whole, and vibrant.

For the past six thousand years or so, women depended on men for survival. Women were valued for two traits: their ability to provide children (mostly males), and their ability to please a man sexually and domestically.

But in many parts of the world, we have evolved beyond this. many women today can be educated, participate in society, work outside the home, have a career, and add their contribution to the world in whatever way they choose.

So, why is it that some women still hold onto the archaic idea that their worth is based on their value to guys? Why is it that still today, we see women deny their person-hood to hold onto an unhealthy relationship? Why do we still today see women destroy their spirit, repress their sense of self and give up their identity, their essence, their dignity so they can be attached to a man, any man; even a man who is cruel, authoritarian, and abusive?

Of course the reasons are complex and multifaceted. We are inundated with the message in the media that women are valued for their sexual worth; we have some powerful biology for survival, (as maladaptive as it is in this century), that promotes a propensity toward needing a man; and we have all sorts of cultural, religious, and societal norms that keep women perpetuating stereotypical roles.

But, guess what? We can change all that; we can and many women have.

Just take a look at that list above. These are all amazing women who are leading the way, showing us how it is done, and providing a fabulous example of what real equality, real strength, and real dignity is.

Now, of course, one doesn't have to be a world leader, president of a company, or renown scientist to be strong, have respect, and feel valuable. Not at all. And one doesn't have to relinquish her role as wife or mother to have worth and dignity. Of course not.*

Let me be clear, maintaining a home, raising children, and contributing to a stable community is essential to life.

At some point in the last few hundred women realized that they had gifts to share in addition to their traditional roles. Women had ideas, wanted education, craved the ability to participate in the arts. Women wanted to express their thoughts, opinions, perspectives. Women came to know that they had more worth than their subservience and sexual/procreative value.

And guess what? Women of today need not perpetuate the myth that they are nothing but their bodies.

It is time to move on.

There is no relationship, no man worth sacrificing your dignity and self worth.

Our world craves all the gifts of women. It is yearning for the balance, harmony, and peace that comes when the totality of humankind is valued, honored, and respected.

Our planet is calling out for strong women who respect themselves, who honor their spirit, who won't degrade and denigrate themselves for a relationship, but who will share their unique gifts with the world.

Real power, real strength, real beauty comes when the spirit soars.

And for those looking for a great man, the amazing part of all this is, the stronger you are, the higher your self esteem, the move intrinsic value you feel, the better chance you have of finding a truly fabulous man.

Why?

Because truly great men want a great women. They want a woman who is confident, who honors herself, who has self-respect and dignity.

A big thank you to all those women who show us the way!






*I can think of no job more valuable, essential, and demanding than parenting. Good parenting is essential to the survival of live itself.