There are all sorts of articles, techniques, books, and experts to tell you how to attract a good man.
They often miss the big secret, the one and only advice worth taking.
What is it?
Be your best self.
That is it.
Nothing more.
You do not need to know some ancient manipulative tricks, how to flirt, how to dress provocatively, what is the most alluring perfume, or the sexiest lip gloss. You do not need to learn some new body language, get some plastic surgery, or discover the latest man-catching techniques.
Nope.
If you truly want a healthy relationship, the trick is not to pretend to be someone else or copy some formula in a best selling book.
Let me be more specific.
Take a little inventory of yourself. Are there areas of your life in which you could improve? Are there things you know you should do to improve your life?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
1. Are you contributing your unique gifts and talents to the world?
2. Are you using your abilities in ways that are meaningful and fulfilling?
3. Are you productive? Using your time valuably?
4. Are there things you want to learn or create that are lost or hidden?
5. Are there people you need to forgive to live with more joy?
6. Are you free from addictions and unhealthy harmful habits?
7. Are there areas of your life that need improving?
8. Are you taking good care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually?
9. Are you living an authentic life? On purpose?
10. Is your light shining brightly?
Rather than focus on some trick or technique to find a good man, why not focus on improving yourself and being the very best you, you can be?
Not only will your chances of finding a great man greatly improve but chances are you will find a truly compatible man who is right for you!
10 thoughts and insights:
This is so true. If the guy doesn't like the real you, then he's not worth the time.
It's better to let him see who you are and how you think in the beginning.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi April,
You are so right on! :-)
Better to be the real you and not pretend to be something you are not!
Thanks for your thoughts April!
Warmest wishes to you,
Jennifer
Great advice! From a man's perspective, the things I notice in a woman first, before I get to know her, are the things you listed last:
8. Are you taking good care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually?
9. Are you living an authentic life? On purpose?
10. Is your light shining brightly?
These are all things that are visible (9 not as much, but if you are living an authentic life, it will come through in your eyes and smile and how you carry yourself)
Great blog, btw.
Jennifer, I totally agree. My husband is a great guy (though I complain about him a lot). When we were engaged, I asked him why he fell in love with me. He thought for a long time (this was a little discouraging:). Then I said, "Is it because I'm smart or because you think I'm pretty?"
He was soooo offended! His response: "How could you say that?" There are some guys who really, really care about deeper things. And who expect us to as well!
I dated several losers before I met him. For those still looking, keep hope.
Interesting. I've browsed this entire site reading all the articles on everything that is wrong with the male species, and men that should be avoided. Reading endless comments and things men should do to be better... Now, I get to the part to instruct a woman on her behavior and the grand answer is... Nothing? I didn't realize women were that perfect. If no woman has anything to do to attract a great man, then that implies all women are inherently great themselves and require no alterations.
~BD
Hey BD,
Thanks for your thoughts!
Well, I don't think you have searched this "entire site" or you would have firt read the bright blue disclaimer in the sidebar clearly stating that most of these ideas apply equally to women, but since the site is geared to help women find good men that is the focus. :-)
Secondly you would have read all the scores of articles pointing out the great things about men, and you would have noticed that this site is truly to support great men and help women realize that there are indeed fabulous men out there.
The male readers of this blog seem to be totally in agreement!
Finally you would have read all the numerous articles directed toward women to help them become the best they can be... many are quite bold.
So, it sounds like you are upset by something you read... if you don't like a site it remember you do not have to read it. :-)
I wish you a good day!
Jennifer
Its quite ironoic that myself and my now ex boyfriend who "loved me" came back from holidays a few weeks ago and he commented in disgust "God your so white" (compared to his baked, but now tanned skin) yea true love!! Its funny in college you learn while studying law that to feel bullied the victim feels intense discomfort, which was what I felt that day. I felt he was attacking my emotions as well as my porcelain skin.He obviously didn't like me for my true self. I'm now glad it has came to a close.
Be a great women. Simple.
The problem is, a lot of yall want a great man, but are not great women.
Not to sound like I hate women, its just I date alot now, and it aint like theres a field of great women to pick from either..
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