You don't have a Relationship? What is Wrong with You?

You are a great woman, a wonderful person, and yet you can't find a great man.

Why?

Many women in this situation start asking themselves, what is wrong with me?

Why can't I find a good man?

What am I doing wrong?

I know women who have read all the books on how to get a man, know all the supposed expert strategies, tricks, and techniques to catch a man. I know women whose lives are centered on finding a guy, whose very reason for existing is to get that man.

Still, they remain single.

What is going on?

First, if you are in this situation, I salute you for not being so desperate that you will settle for a not-so-great guy. Good for you. No guy is worth sacrificing your self-esteem, sense of goodness, and emotional and physical health.

Next, if you truly want a good, healthy relationship and you are not finding one, there could be a variety of problems. For a few, (of many), examples... you may not be in a situation where you will meet good guys. You may have work to do before you are really ready for a relationship. You may not recognize a good man when you meet him. You may have unrealistic expectations. You may show signs of being unavailable, needy, or otherwise desperate. Any number of dynamics may impact the situation.

Regardless of the particular situation, I have one bit of advice that is appropriate for all women who desperately want a man in their life for a long term, healthy partnership.

Live a full life.

That is it. Simple. Clear.

Over and over I have seen women, who let go of the need for a man, and who, in this very act of release, find the man of their dreams.

It seems that moving into a place where one finds fulfillment and peace with their individual life, is the very requirement for some women to bring into their life a good man.

While I do believe that often, we find what we are looking for, it is also true that at times we are looking so hard we can't see clearly.

It is also true that living in a state of emptiness and lack may actually be the very dynamic that keeps one in the state of lack. In other words, when we feel empty, we subconsciously may hold this place as one of homeostasis, and keep this as the norm regardless of what we want.

Another dynamic that may come into play... reminding oneself that they do not have what they want, neurologically limits happiness. Research has shown time and time again that acceptance of one's situation, even if it is not wonderful, actually leads to or enables happiness.

It may be that by focusing on wanting and desiring a man, subconsciously reminds a woman that her needs are not met, thereby creating an uneasiness and longing that actually keeps a relationship from blossoming.

So, what do you do?

You live a full life.

You find fulfillment in ways that do not require a man. You give love to those in need. You become involved in helping others. You move in to a place where you feel full and alive. You work on yourself. You surround yourself with great healthy friends and loved ones. You create, play, share. You become whole. You accept your present situation as if there is no lack.

You let go of the need.

In the acceptance comes contentment.

In the peace comes happiness.

And, in giving up the need, you move into the very place where you allow a healthy relationship to exist.