Have you ever been with a guy who thinks he is always right... a "know it all?"
Guys that are the supreme authority on every topic including you?
Guys who are the experts on everything and anything?
Not only are they not fun to be around but they are not great men with whom to partner!
There is nothing more irritating than a guy who won't listen to another side of a story, who can't grasp that there are those who see the world differently, and who think they their opinion is gospel truth.
But, more than this, this trait is indicative of some more serious issues going on.
Guys who exist in a fantasy world where they know everything are really covering up a very low self esteem. They hide their insecurity by proclaiming their expertise but in reality, they can't handle the idea that they are not right, or that someone else may know more than do they.
These guys live in a black and white world where they are right and those who disagree are wrong. They will not listen to a differing opinion because it is prima facie wrong! They will not open their minds to looking at life in new ways, nor will they even consider the possibility that they could improve in some ways.
These guys will never offer a sincere apology, will never admit they are wrong, and will never allow others to see a vulnerable unsure side of themselves.
Some of these "know it all" guys may become religious fanatics, political zealots, or just overbearing men who make life miserable for those he encounters.
If you want a healthy relationship, realize that great men are open to learning, and they are comfortable with not knowing every answer to every question. They have opinions, even strong ones but they can listen to others and find a sense of understanding if not agreement. They can agree to disagree. Great men know the world is filled with all sorts of people with a variety of beliefs, ideas, perspectives and opinions.
If you are looking for a great man, find a man who can listen to others, can understand a variety of world views, and respects YOUR opinion even if you disagree!
11 thoughts and insights:
Jen,
Great advice. It is true, a know it all has no ears or time for anyone elses thoughts that are not perfectly aligned with his. This would be a very difficult person to have a long-term relationship with.
A relationship is a partnership, a two way street and listening and being able to learn from each other is key.
Right on! I can't stand men, or people in general, who think they are always right and can't seem to ever have a real conversation with different points of view. One of the main reasons I fell in love with my husband was because he was so open to new ideas, perspectives, etc. Great advice! :)
ooh yes I personailty know this guy who sees the world in black and white. It is no fun!
I love this blog wondeful advice for women and everyone in general too!!
Hi Mark...
You are so exactly right!
It is difficult enough to have a healthy relationship without starting off with a guy who can't admit he may not have all the answers to everything, and whose opinions are always right!
:-)
Warmest wishes my friend,
Jen
Hey SS...
Ohhh I'm so glad you found a great man who can listen, reflect, and be open to knowing others may have ideas that are important too!
Thanks for sharing your example!
Wishing you a great day... :-)
Jen
Hi Stargazer...
I'm happy to have you here! :-)
Yes, most of my posts apply equally to women and men! (smile)
I am blogging to help women but certainly wonderful qualities are appreciated in all human beings!
Blessings to you,
Jen
GREAT post! I think I tend to fall for "know it all's" because they challenge me and won't let me win a debate. However, it proves to be extremely frustrating when it happens all the time!
I think that most guys pretend to be mr know everything because they think that people will like them if they did so.
Hi Farouk,
I think you are right! :-)
The reality is, guys who come across like they know everything are boring and irritating to most folks!
Warmest wishes,
Jennifer
Hi ringleader,
LOL!
Yeah, good stimulating discussion and debate is GREAT!
It is when guys really think they are the experts of everything that the relationship gets frustrating.
:-)
Jennifer
I used to date a real jerk in university. His behaviour literally haunts me to this day, ten years after the fact. I didn't know what a "jerk" was, or even how to deal with a man who didn't treat me well. I was his girlfriend, but he would flirt and sleep with other girls. One day he told me that my batchmates thought I was a bitch. Then I found out he was sleeping with some of my classmates. My best friend told me, and other people on campus knew about it. It was so scandalous, and I am so ashamed that I now live in a different country because everyone who I talk to, who went to the same university as me remembers THAT about me. They don't remember that I graduated summa cum laude, or that I won a prestigious scholarship, or that I was at the top of my class. It's a dirty thing about yourself that you can never erase.
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