Thursday, February 1, 2007

Is Online Dating a Good Idea?

is online dating a good idea, how to tell if a guy is a jerk, finding a great man
Is Online Dating a Good Idea?

More and more people are looking online for a partner. Does online dating work? Is it dangerous? Is it a good idea?

I have known happy couples who found their partners through online dating services. I have also seen some scary situations and complete disasters while attempting to find a partner online.

Certainly there are some great benefits to online dating. You can prescreen a guy to some extent, you can cut through some of the early awkwardness, and your options extend throughout the world rather than just in your immediate community.

All great things.

The downside of online dating is that those initial conversations may not exactly reflect the actual person. It is easier to project a certain image with words when the body language is absent and when the instinctual senses are limited. In online conversations, the biggest jerk can in fact present an entirely different picture than they one you would know in real life.

So... if you are open to online dating be smart, be cautious, be aware, and be realistic.

First, remember that a person can project anything he wants online. It doesn't necessarily mean he is being real or honest. Take time to allow some of the initial interest to develop so you can have a fuller picture of the guy.

Make sure to be honest and clear in your needs, wants, and hopes for a relationship. The more honest you are going in the better chance you have of finding the right guy for you.

Take it slow! I can't emphasize this enough. You do not want to rush into a situation where you are basing your feelings on pretense, superficiality, or lies. Take your time. Do not rush into anything. If you are feeling pressure, take note and notice red flags!

Be careful. Most online services give advice on how to use the dating service in appropriate ways for your safety and security. Follow these guidelines fully and completely.

Listen to your instincts. Our sensory input is limited when we are using online information exclusively so it is most important that if you are picking up on something weird or unusual, or something that just doesn't make sense or quite fit... listen to your gut!

Online dating can be great if you follow the guidelines. It can be horrible if you do not take the time and effort to be smart and do it right!

8 thoughts and insights:

Tisha! said...

it amazes me that many people don't even apply the common sense rules of offline dating when it comes to online dating, let's start with those and consider that technology is simply a means and we must apply common sense

The Bold Soul said...

Right on the nose. I've done online dating off and on for over 10 years. I'm careful not to assume the guy will be the same in person as he is online, until I've had a chance to get to know him in "real time" because I've had some disappointments. I've also experienced real "love at first sight" with someone I met online. Currently I'm living in Paris and just started dating a lovely Australian man (I'm American) and we met online. The regular dating safety rules MUST be applied but as long as you do, there's no reason you can't have an opportunity to meet someone very nice. Just don't let it be your ONLY method of getting out and meeting people.

ara0062 said...

Great website. I am very leary of online dating myself. When the internet first became popular, I was in high school, and ended up with an online boyfriend since my parents were strict and did not allow me to date in "real life." We'd go to chat rooms and just talk about all sorts of stuff. Other friends of his and mine would be there, and it was like talking on the phone in a way, but after a while, his mom literally came online and said she was forcing him to break up with me because he was NOT being honest. Plus, another girl online mentioned him as her boyfriend one day..and after discussing him, it felt just like that credit card commercial where the girl hands her card to the cashier only to find out both of them have the same boyfriend's pics on their customized card.
Plus, dating online.. can be strange, especially if the guy is from a different country. It seems to me that guys from other countries online sure want to get married awfully fast, when I haven't even got to KNOW them yet. Then, we get called hateful women or other names for not just jumping on their wagon, so to speak.

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Anonymous said...

I just had a semi-long term relationship end (8 months). He did alot of really terrible things. We moved in together right off the bat after meeting on OKCUPID. Now he has a new profile on there a week after us breaking up and EVERYTHING he says on there about himself are blantant lies...And I realized those initially were the things that drew me to him when he contacted me, out of all the other choices.

Watch out ladies, just because a guy says he is nice, romantic, a rare find...Doesnt mean he is...I know from experience!

Anonymous said...

well, if you're disabled u have it pretty tough in the dating game but there are specialist dating sites for disabled people



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Anonymous said...

So, what if you Didn't meet them in a dating site? What if you just met them on YouTube, or something? (not myspace don't worry).
He is my age (teenager), I know he's not lying about this because he has a facebook, webcam, videos, etc..that's not the problem.
Just, is this legit? He says he really likes me, etc, and I don't date jerks..and I don't think he is one. I can surmise how people are when I see them. But I just want to be sure he's not 'projecting' anything, as you call it?

Anonymous said...

So, what if you Didn't meet them in a dating site? What if you just met them on YouTube, or something? (not myspace don't worry).
He is my age (teenager), I know he's not lying about this because he has a facebook, webcam, videos, etc..that's not the problem.
Just, is this legit? He says he really likes me, etc, and I don't date jerks..and I don't think he is one. I can surmise how people are when I see them. But I just want to be sure he's not 'projecting' anything, as you call it?

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