Ladies... there are plenty of great, amazing, wonderful men out there. There are guys who treat women well, who are decent, kind, and attentive. There are men who want to be monogamous, who want a healthy relationship, and who will make great partners.What is up with abandoning these guys for the jerk?
The answer is complex and simple at the same time. It has to do with evolution. For some animals (our ancestors for example), females "attaching" to the alpha male is a way to survive. The alpha male is the dominant, angry, selfish, strong male who likes to rule, wants power, and to control the world.
But ladies... we have come a long way over the last few million years. It is no longer in your best interest to be with the alpha male. Today, emotional care and concern are more important in a relationship than a guy who can kill a bear. Love and commitment are those necessary qualities that will provide you with what the advanced human requires, unlike a man who is into power and control (read: abuse).
The alpha male is not a guy who is going to treat you well. He is not the guy who is going to care for you, dedicate his life to you, or even love you. He is the guy who is going to use you right along with dozens of other women who forget they are no longer living in the stone age.
Next time you find yourself attracted to the power and control of the alpha guy hanging around checking you out, remember... he is NOT for you. Picture yourself part of a harem where women are abused, discarded, and thrown out whenever the male grows tired or feels a need for someone new.
Look around and notice the great men out there. Find a guy who is more advanced and enlightened than a primate needing to rule over you.
A long term, healthy, emotionally bonded, loving relationship is just not going to happen with the alpha male!
1 thoughts and insights:
On the level of personal sentiment my response is: dead on!
However, it is the same reasons an exciting "alpha male" makes a terrible long-term monogamous mate which also make him an ideal diversion once a long-term relationship is secured (gets boring, feels like you are being taken for granted).
It is having your cake and eating it too in evolutionary terms: the safety of a man who is dedicating resources to kids, and ALSO the possibility to mother a nation by way of male kids with Genghis Khan genes. (Girl children are close to a sure bet but can only have so many kids. Male children are risky - maybe they won't have any kids at all - but with the "right" genes they might have hundreds without much biological constraint).
The "alpha" doesn't stick around, but he doesn't have to, because that is not what he is for. Nor is he actually there for bear-killing or protection. He is there to be hot. He doesn't even bother to do the bowerbird routine because he doesn't have to, it is not his mating strategy.
Provided you don't have any delusions about "trading up" to a committed relationship with him (something as likely as the transmutation of lead to gold, or gold to lead depending on your perspective) it might even be an advantage that he doesn't stick around. If you're in a relationship he adds something missing and might give leverage for getting more out of the committed thing; if you're just shopping (as in "serial monogamy") you might not want to have to get rid of a boat-anchor guy who is strongly bonded but no longer interesting. (Alphas don't have any actual reason to stalk or get jealous, after all.)
It's obviously up to us to use our evolved brains to figure out how to be happy, rather than just following our glands to misery and an early death. By no means would I disclaim the advice you give here.
But I really wonder what argument there could be against cheating. It is important and rarely observed that the committed guy has something the alpha lacks, but it is all too obvious also that the alpha has something the committed guy lacks. So, in the age of birth control, why not both?
Post a Comment