If a guy expects you to clean up after him, you know he does not respect you.Guys that think their "woman" should do the cleaning are guys that consider women as servant or housekeepers. Now, we would all enjoy a butler or maid now and then but expecting our life partner to be such is not only unrealistic but unfortunate.
Yes we all know that for thousands of years women have been relegated to housekeeper/servant but today there are great guys who want a wife who is an equal partner. There are many men who value the intimacy and love that comes when two people share their lives, not as servant/master but as loving partners.
If a guy is still stuck in the fifties, hoping for a woman who will be his servant girl, cleaning up his dirty socks, washing all the dishes, heading his every call, he is not a guy who will make for a healthy modern day husband.
Now, of course we all enjoy giving, helping, and even serving our loved ones at times. This is quite different than a guy having the expectation that this is the wife's duty while he enjoys the comfort of being waited on day in and day out.
Don't let yourself fall into the trap of dating a guy who treats you poorly. There are great guys who want a partner who is not a servant!
2 thoughts and insights:
Very much common-sense, in this day when it's the norm for both him and her to contribute to the family coffers. For many guys, helping with domestic chores is stepping outside his comfort zone. In that case, he should be encouraged for taking those steps (even if a bit awkward at first), and definitely not belittled for their efforts. (Not that you are belittling, Jennifer, and you make it clear that this blog isn't male bashing, but please read on...)
This article in MSNBC may give some clues about some negative attitudes held by women about men's help in household chores:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24206284/
Leslie Bennetts bad-mouths her husband, belittles his contributions to the household chores and child rearing, and engages in thinly-disguised male bashing. Against the backdrop of this kind of attitude, I can see why some men might think, "No matter how much I help out, it'll never be good enough, so why bother trying?"
Moreover, the authoritarian approach, while it may cause short-term compliance, is likely to cause resentment in the long run. An approach more along the lines of "I really appreciate it when you..." is a far superior approach to Bennetts' approach of treating her husband like an irresponsible little boy who needs to be disciplined and to "have his feet held to the fire every single day".
Rob-
I understand the courtesy of saying we appreciate things our hubbies do right- but I don't see the men in our lives saying thanks for all of the zillions of things that we do every day. I resent the fact that I have to praise my husband each time he bags up the garbage, yet my taking care of the kids, cleaning, working and making twice as much money as he does, bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan does not get me any "kudos". For women, this is simply EXPECTED.
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