If a guy is married he is NOT the one for you! Trust me on this. He may want a fling, a little extra bit of fun on the side but he is not interested in you as an exlusive partner, a companion, or wife.
No matter how many times he tells you, he loves you more than his wife, she is a witch, and you are the one for him... HE IS LYING! He is having a little fantasy at your expense!
Do not, under any circumstances fall for this as-old-as-the-hills deception.
Think about it, do you even want to be with someone who is cheating on his wife? What does that say about his moral character? His sense of decency? His ability to be honest, truthful, committed? What does it say about his sense of family, compassion, and concern for others?
It tells you loud and clear that he is a jerk!
Do not walk away from this type of guy.... RUN! And run fast.
11 thoughts and insights:
I am glad you are not male bashing and hope to introduce the concept to keep hope alive. The world is filled with greatness, it is our responsibility to gain the most from it.
Hi James...
I'm totally convinced there are many many wonderful guys. My hope is to help women find them! I see amazing guys who remain single while women are going after the not so great guys... ya know? I'm hoping to shed some light on the fact that there are great guys out there!
Thanks for your comments! Please feel free to share your ideas and thoughts!
Jennifer
Can you Love more than one person and not be a Jerk. I have learned not to trust my heart, but have recently had a emotional affair with a high school love. She wants to be a friend and I feel like i Love both of them. But have explained i would never leave my family for romance, and have not slept with her even though my wife did a few years ago. I did notice a change in her until she confessed. I am really torn...
Hi Steven,
Thanks for writing. I'm going to be really honest with you.
You are asking if one can have an affair without being a jerk?
Nope!
Lying and cheating and breaking promises (along with the hearts of ones wife and children) disqualify a guy from being a good and decent man.
I would invite you to read my site on marriage and relationships, (www.theartofloveandintimacy.com) and check out the articles on affairs. Please.
I know the passion and excitement of a new relationship are pretty compelling but the devastation, dishonesty, cruelty, and pain caused by the suffering and destruction of ones spouse and family respectfully is looming. I'm pretty sure you know this. You know what is ahead regardless of your determination to be secretative and dishonest and sneaky. You know the harm you are surely going to cause, it is just a matter of time.
I truly hope you will step back, read the articles on my other site and do whatever you can to heal your marriage and restore the vitality and intimacy (which can't coexist with dishonesty), in your relationship.
Warmest wishes and best of luck to you Steven,
Jennifer
Having an affair w/ a married man is no joke.You'll be left heart broken and possibly empty handed.I know this man before he got married 12 yrs. ago.I was in tears but what can i do but to keep all the good memories we had.For all those yrs. i'm so stupid waiting and hoping he'll come back.What a surprise it did happen. We talked and meet again.I have no inhibition or anything. I gave everything.Whatever i have.Love and time.I tried everything to make this relationship work.Its not easy for me but i showed him how much he means to me.But one day things changed. He cant afford to leave his family and i think there is a story behind that which i dont want to know anymore. I never regreted i met him again but i preferred not anymore coz old good memories were turned into a sad heartbreaking story.It hurts me so much everytime i hear from my family that i was only used by this man.But i guess they are right. I know it's my fault. My heart was over my head for those months and i never anticipated that a storm is coming.It's a terrible feeling.I'm not blaming anybody but myself.I hope he told me before the relationship got intense that he can't leave his family .At least i didn't put myself in a dilemma which is irreversible.It's an experience but unpleasant.
I'll be happy if he will keeep his words and stay committed to his family.I'm writing a story right now and i hope it will be finish ....God only knows.It will be interesting to know how he feels right now so i can add more to this story.when its all done.detailed story will be sailing into the ocean and who knows who when and where this story will end up.i might be gone before its found . this story is not all about bitterness but also about love that is immeasurable.im sure ill miss him but story needs to come to an end.GOODLUCK TO ALL THE READERS.HOPE YOU'LL FIND THE ANSWER OF ALL YOUR UNCERTAINTIES.
I met a man one day. I was recently seperated and he SAID that he was also. We talked about our experiences with out ex's and we clicked really fast. Quickly after I became pregnant by this man. He came around weekely but never spent any real time with me. I was happy to take any time I got with him. I was divorced and wanted to be loved and I thought it was going to come from him. I never met any of his family and never came around his home. He said since him and wife seperated he had to move in with his mother. He was very unsupportive during the pregnancy and was not there when I gave birth. 2 months after our son was born he told me he was still married and living with his wife. I was crushed but still thought I loved him and stayed with him 6 more months. I couldnt figure out what was keeping me with him because I hated myself for what I was doing to his wife. Plus he had no respect for me and used me for everything that I had. He took complete advantage of me and allowed it because I wanted him to be around our child. He then decided he didnt want to be in our childs like at the time. He said he will sigh the birth cert and tell his family when he is ready. He said I needed to understand that our child was concieved while he was married so he couldnt be around for him. I dont understand, him being married didnt stop him from getting me pregnant and sleeping with me for almost a year and a half. But being married was going to keep him from his child. He said his family was going to look at me as a home wrecker. I understand I found out he was married a while after we started seeing each other but when I found out I continued to see hi,. This man talked about his wife to me about how he hated her and wanted to be with me. But when I started closing my legs and wallet he all of sudden started to love his wife. I feel so taken advantage of. Its a horrible feeling. Makes me have no respect for men.
Hi Anonymous 3-9,
I responded in the other thread on married men! :-)
Jen
Thank you for the insight. You hit the nail on the head by stating 'he's having a fantasy at your expense.' Happy to say that when I finally pulled my head from the clouds, I RAN from that slimebag!
'Separated' is STILL MARRIED. No matter for how long. And if it's been more than a year, why the heck haven't they gone and got the divorce already? Something is up with that. STAY AWAY from ALL married men, even if (he says) he's separated. If they haven't cut the cord 'for real', you will have a mess on your hands, and, like Anonymous posted earlier, quite possibly end up broken-hearted and empty-handed, not to mention bitter and resentful. LOVE this site!
My husband of 11 years left me about 6 months ago. He left, said "he needed time to find himself." I didn't understand it, but supported it completely. He cut me off cold turkey, just like that. No phone calls, no I miss you's, no loves you's anymore. This was extremely odd to me and I soon discovered he was having an affair with an OLDER ugly woman at his work, the admin!
He strung me along stating he wanted US to work it out, but continued to LIE and CHEAT on me. ME! His wife!
I had a VERY hard time deciding this due to morals, values, and religious values, but I filed for divorce.
Everyday he is showing me his "true" colors. Talks to me like crap, says bad things that are NOT TRUE about me, continues to blame me for HIS affair and departure. BLAMES BLAMES ME for everything!
The sad thing is, he feed me so much of this that I believed it and it has ruined my self esteem, my judgment, etc. Even though, everyone tells me contrary, it's VERY difficult to believe that...
Thanks for listening...
L
Post a Comment